Darling,
I know, there are some days that really make you wonder if your were made for this. If maybe it would be better if you quit. You stare at the stiff walls and at the piano that is so quiet if nobody is touching it. Maybe you haven't sung for a long time, or maybe you are stuck. And now, everything you have is an unresponsive body, a squeaky voice, no acutes, and the medium register sounds like you would never be able to sing a normal, easy song ever again. You really need some money, because the bills keep coming, and if you receive any more phone calls inviting you to sing somewhere and you sound like this, well, you will go crazy. Taking another job is a complicated thing and it gets you involved more than you initially believe. It makes you leave your heart behind, altogether with everything that you ever dreamed about, worked for and for which you dedicated every fight. This is not a choice anymore, even if you could do it. You have the capability of doing it.
The first thing that I want to tell you is that I've already been there three times. The causes were different, one more painful than the other. But every time, music grabbed me by the hand and rushed into my blood like a lover. It made me believe that the possibility of letting go doesn't exist at all.
Why do you feel like you don't want to sing anymore?
Identify the reason. All the reasons. Do whatever it takes to find out all the honest reasons, all the hidden ones. Write them on a piece of paper. I will help you. I am here for that. This is not a blog post written once in a lifetime and posted on a website just to leave you thinking. My e-mail address is valid.
lettersfromyourmusicteacher@yahoo.com
These are the moments in which you really need to talk to someone that already felt it and understands. Unfortunately, there are two kinds of people who will really understand you: artists that have also struggled, and those who really love you unconditionally and actually feel your pain as if it was theirs.
Reasons why:
- someone dear to you died and you are frozen; everything that needs your vulnerability, implication and heart is kept outside- everything just hurts too much; the same goes to when you get divorced, separated by a loved one; loss always pulls the trigger
- you had to do something else for a long period of time ( I mean, 7-10 months, some years ), and you've seriously lost your inner singer, you can't control your body anymore, the voice is unresponsive and you don't know what to do
- you've suffered failure too much - things just don't go well on stage, you always forget some lyrics, you are off pitch, people told you that you can't go on like this
- your passion and urge of learning and working hard for your evolution as an artist has made the others keep you out of the matter of things - actually, a lot of the "teachers" are just artists that couldn't perform at the given standards and didn't have any choice but become an instructor - but they don't really want to help others to find their inner art, but throw all their personal frustrations on the person in cause; if such a person sees how passionate and hard working you are, even if maybe you are not as talented as he/she was, you will be the victim of all possible emotional attacks; I've seen children and young adults get out of a singing class crying their hearts out - that is NOT acceptable and normal - if you are one, please change your music coach; I have been one of them several times.
- you are different, original and you are being left outside the playground because you can't stick to the "old rules" (that lack creativity, and overall, all kinds of work that people don't want to do anymore because they are bored with their job, they are not paid enough or they simply don't want to be there anymore)
- you are not willing to compromise in order to be accepted (give money or spend a night with a director, for example)
- important people told you that you are not made for this - that you can't do it, that you don't have enough talent, your voice is not good enough, or you don't have the looks. This is the only thing that I want to remind you:
There might be a million other reasons why.
Yet again, there is only one reason why not.
Reason why not: you still FEEL that you have something to give to others
Translation: You still have a message that has to be delivered, help others find their mission, help them find a way towards themselves, in any given case, help them feel again (because we always make ourselves numb in order to protect our feelings), help them live again (because if we are numb for many years, it feels as if life has drooled out of us). In other words, to be the person that you would want to meet right now, at this crossroads.
You might think that there is nothing left to give anymore. But if you feel differently, please stop all the thinking.
This is the exact thing that defines an Artist. You have a gift not for yourself, but for others. However, through it, you define and you grow yourself every day you stick to it. It's such a beautiful plan, that if you stood still for a minute to see the bigger picture, you would be amazed.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe that you have read this today for a reason. Believe in it.
And please don't forget to write to me if you need a person who believes you.
Yours faithfully,
Your music teacher
